Jamie Lee Curtis and Her Daughter Speak About Ruby’s Journey Coming Out as Trans

“I’m a thankful understudy. It’s learning new phrasing and words,” Jamie Lee Curtis, whose girl Ruby emerged as transsexual last year, only tells PEOPLE

Last year, Jamie Lee Curtis’ girl Ruby plunked down in the family’s Los Angeles patio with her mom and her dad, parody chief Christopher Guest.

Ruby had something to tell them. She planned to emerge as trans. In any case, she couldn’t.

“It was startling — simply the sheer reality of educating them something regarding me they didn’t have the foggiest idea,” Ruby tells PEOPLE, plunking down in their parlor last week. “It was scaring — yet I wasn’t concerned. They had been so tolerating of me my whole life.”

So Ruby left, and afterward messaged her mom. Recollects Jamie Lee: “I called her right away. Obviously there were a few tears included.”

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But today Ruby, 25 — who works as a video editor for a gaming personality on YouTube — is more at ease as she, alongside her mom, gets ready to talk about her journey publicly for the first time.

And Jamie Lee, 62 — still with a few tears — remains ready to listen. “It’s speaking a new language,” she says. “It’s learning new terminology and words. I am new at it. I am not someone who is pretending to know much about it. And I’m going to blow it, I’m going to make mistakes. I would like to try to avoid making big mistakes.”

Jamie Lee says she’s learned a few things: “You slow your speech down a little. You become a little more mindful about what you’re saying. How you’re saying it. You still mess up, I’ve messed up today twice. We’re human.”

“But if one person reads this, sees a picture of Ruby and me and says, ‘I feel free to say this is who I am,’ then it’s worth it.”

Ruby, for the majority LGBTQ individuals, coming out is certainly not something onetime. When were you first ready to say,”I am Ruby” to yourself?

RUBY: When I was about 16, a friend of mine who is trans asked me what my gender was. I told them, “Well, I’m male.” After, I’d dwell on the thought. I knew I was — maybe not Ruby per se, but I knew I was different. But I had a negative experience in therapy, so I didn’t come out [as trans] immediately when I probably should have. Then, seven years later, still being Tom at the time, I told the person who is now my fiancé that I am probably trans. And they said, “I love you for who you are.”

JAMIE LEE: When Ruby just said her dead name — I haven’t ever heard her say that name. It so doesn’t fit anymore. That was, of course, the hardest thing. Just the regularity of the word. The name that you’d given a child. That you’ve been saying their whole life. And so, of course, at first that was the challenge. Then the pronoun. My husband and I still slip occasionally.

RUBY: I don’t get mad at them for that.

JAMIE LEE: I think that’s sort of evolutionary and a very important step in our home. We have tried to maintain it in a big way. I’m learning a lot from Ruby.

Jamie Lee, there is that maxim: “A mother knows.”

JAMIE LEE: I knew Ruby had a sweetheart. I knew that Ruby had utilized the word bi. In any case, orientation character and sexual direction — those are two separate things. What’s more, I realize that Ruby played female symbols in computer games. However, when you inquire, “Did you have a suspicion that Ruby was trans?” I would agree no. However, when I replayed Ruby’s life, I went, “Gee, that, that, those, gee.”

Ruby, while you and your sister Annie have notable guardians, you are both confidential individuals. Did your family’s Hollywood heritage affect your approaching out? Did it add pressure?

RUBY: Yeah, nobody has much insight into me, and I’ve made an honest effort up to this point to keep it that way. Yet, I’m glad to discuss my encounters now. Is it useful to emerge? No doubt. Like, individuals will in any case recollect me for what my identity was, yet I haven’t changed that. They at long last get to see who I’ve forever been, you know, inside, however presently I at last get to show it outwardly. Yet, me coming doesn’t out have anything to do with my mother being well known. I’ve attempted to avoid the spotlight for a long time, or if nothing else given my all to. I’m glad to be more noticeable assuming it helps other people.